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13 Jan 2017 - 02:09:40 pm

Loss Of A Man

Loss is a feeling which does not feel good for us humans. We all know it and we'd like it to be that we never have that feeling again. We almost panick into this fear and often do not know how to get out of it. It is that we are afraid to lose our partner, our work or even family members. There are many reasons why we feel loss. 

For example, I had lost myself when I was moved. Why? Quite simply, it's a new apartment, a new environment in which I do not really know how it is there. It is often a whole new environment and we often give up the old. We move out of our comfort zone, so to speak. This can then trigger loss in us, as with me. 

Where does this loss come from? It has its origin in the Stone Age. At that time, in the Stone Age, it was so that we women were not viable if we were not in a group and a man. We were, so to speak, dependent on our group and a man. For the man has protected us, the group has protected us. Had we been traveling alone by then, that would surely have been our death. The loss was very important to us, because it helped us build relationships and interpersonal relationships. Through them we have learned how to deal with other people, because if we had not learned it, we would have been alone. Therefore the loss was very important and good for us. We learned through them to deal with the people of the group and go to them. 

Today, when we are in relationships and we separate or lose someone else, this loss rises in us, just for the reasons I just said. It comes from earlier, where our survival had to be secured. And that was not possible. 
But today we do not need this loss anymore, because we women can survive very well without a man. Our survival no longer depends on a man. We can go to work ourselves, and if we do not have a job, then the state takes care of us. We still have a roof over our heads and something to eat. We do not have to pay attention to whether there is a hunter or a wild animal behind us, which we would like to eat for dinner. Even if we have children and are alone, our survival is assured. Nevertheless, we have this loss in us. 

Do men also have such a loss? Yes and no. Even a man can have profound anxiety, which can come from various reasons and situations from his childhood. A man is experiencing something different from women. Men have a very strong hunting drive and protector instinct, and if he can not live through it, he suffers. If he can not protect his group, he suffers. If he can not be there for his family. Men need a role in the system in the family and in the outside. You can see that very well today, for example, when a man has become unemployed. If the man simply has no more role, then he becomes smaller and weakened and loses his manliness. He shrinks into himself formally. He feels simply useless and worthless. 

Those who are born out of their childhood have the origin that children were simply screamed. The crying of a child has been necessary for them at that time, for it has also ensured their survival. With the screaming, children were heard at that time, so that the mother could find it when it was lost. The screaming of a child has simply been there to ensure their survival and to communicate, here I am, save me. 

Just a few years ago, children were simply screamed because the parents wanted to make them stronger. They did not mean it, they did not know better. They did not know that this crying is a survival instinct for a baby. If we do not show the baby, we are here for you, you do not need to be afraid, then that is in her subconsciousness and anchors herself in a negative experience. 

Even though we have had terrible experiences as children, where our loss was omnipresent and these are still high today, then you can be aware that the situation of today has nothing to do with reality. Because today you have so many resources that you can use to make the situation different. You will always survive today. Your loss from that time, has nothing to do with today. You can be aware of this every time in such a moment. 

If we feel that such a loss comes back in us, then sit relaxed and if it is only for 5 min. And close your eyes and feel this fear. Feel deep inside and see where this fear comes from. Look at them closely and ask yourself the question, what is the worst thing that can happen? Has this fear been associated with today's reality? Alone, when we become aware of our fear and look at it, it will simply disappear after a while. Maybe you have to make it one thing two times, but it will disappear! :-) 
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